Arrive at Hondoq Bay around nine. Look for the big yellow umbrella. We'll put your name on a sunbed, hand the kids a kayak, and you'll be on the water by ten past.

An hour later you swap the paddles for the crazy sofa. Ten minutes of laughing too hard, and then we run a short shuttle out to a cave the cruise boats are too big for, and back. Lunch on the beach, kids back on the sunbeds, you go again on the kayak if you fancy it.

Out by one, with a quiet afternoon left over for ice cream in Mgarr.

Up to eight riders, four jet skis, one Jonathan. We meet at Hondoq, kit you up, and you're throttling toward the caves by ten.

Around Comino at jet ski speed is not the same island as Comino from a tour boat. The caves come at you. The horizon moves. You will, at some point, be entirely alone on water the colour of a swimming pool, the only sound the engine idling while you catch your breath.

One hour of that, then the crazy sofa for the laughs, an hour on a kayak because the afternoon needs to be quiet again, and a sunbed at the umbrella for as long as you want.

By half four most of Hondoq has gone home. The water turns flat. The light gets long.

We'll save you a sunbed under the umbrella, take you out for a short sunset spin past the cliffs, and have a cold drink waiting when you walk back up the beach. There is a kayak with your name on it if you fancy a quiet hour on the water before the colour goes.

Back at the umbrella by half seven. Drive back to Mgarr with the windows down.